SNEAK PEAK EXCLUSIVE! - just for fans!
Finally it is here!
#ArcticMonkeys ‘Whatever People Say They Are…That’s What They’re Not’ - brand new #arcticmonkeys biography published this month by #OmnibusPress. Written by Ben Osborne.
First time exclusive look at the picture sections.
Watch this space for more info.
peek*
Please please please I will be your beatest friend if you get me this
do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason
you’re just like
no
And then they give you a reason and its like
I never had a “boys are icky and gross” phase I’ve literally been chasing dick since birth
quick have sex with me i’ll explain later

There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
i will be as badass as she
You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.
She won being a pirate.
She got history’s high score.

i always feel inclined to reblog this because it is literally the best hair flip in the history of hair flips
Honey Boo Boo and her family are happy, she isn’t doing anything more embarrassing than your standard blush-inducing family photo album stuff and her parents are literally putting every single dollar they make from the show into a college savings for their children and all the gifts she gets from fans get donated to LGBT youth shelters what possible bone could you have to pick with these people other than the fact that you find them slightly abrasive
(Gasps loudly) Someone……….was comfotbale….enouhg…..to DO THE SEx?????? SOMOEN./…Made a personal deisicisoin with Their own Body??Someone was matur e enough to Do That? No. No. Absolutely NOT. Slut. TOTAL SLut. horible person. parents NOT Proud. Obama is disappointed. Do Not Have Sex Before Checking With Me First And I’ll Tell You If It’s Ok.
i made sum pancakes
God help
I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. And just so you know, my best is still really bad and you will totally regret dealing with the terrible parts of who I am only to be rewarded with the really bad parts of who I am. I am awful and you are stupid for putting up with me.